I Had Only Been With Human Women
Her name was Kaz'na. She was 22 years old. Works as a graphic designer, likes live music, cares about her family. Nothing too unusual. Oh, and she's 3' 9", which is only a little on the short side since she was a goblin. A fact that didn't come as a surprise given the vibrant shade of green in her profile pic. That was the first thing that caught my eye. How could it not be? The second thing was her smile and how it lit up her face. But still, even though they had started integrating themselves into human society, there was no way that could work right? And I had heard all of the stories of how goblins were. All those rumors about how they were so...I don't know how to put it...sexually open? They would put out for anyone. Or so people say! As soon as the topic of goblins came up, all of the jokes would start flying, as long as a goblin wasn't in earshot. It was what had kept them in isolation for so long, and it was a reputation they still hadn't managed to shake. And that wasn't what I was looking for! I wanted a relationship! I know, a naive thing to look for in a dating app, but as a twenty something professional in a city this was the primary outlet I had for meeting people. I wanted something substantial, not just some little green girl that would just offer up some no strings attached fun...right?
Besides, I had only been with human women, no demi-humans. They popped up rarely on dating sites, but I had still swiped left on my share of orcs, centaurs, beastkin and all the rest...although this was the first goblin I could recall. And there was something in those eyes...A certain light, both welcoming and challenging...I swiped to her next photo, a full body shot of Kaz'na at some sort of outdoor event, tight peach colored shorts and a white crop top baring the slight bulge of her belly and barely concealing the curves of her full breasts. Her arms were arched over her head and her mouth was open in a laugh, I couldn't tell if she was posing or caught in the middle of dancing. I was immediately captivated by her form, she had all of the curves of a human woman just...shrunk. And those long pointed ears, extending a few inches from her head, were actually kinda cute... Before I could even reach a conscious decision, I had swiped right. Whoops! Oh well, it wasn't like she would ever match with me, right? I was only average at best, so anything that relied on a first impression of my appearance would never be in my favor.
She matched with me a day later.
We exchanged small talk. She hadn't been in the city long, she was the oldest of three, with a brother and a sister, she liked punk music and spicy food. This went on for a couple of days before I worked up the courage to ask her on an actual date.
"Yeah! I'd love to!" her response came instantly. My heart flipped.
I don't know why I felt this way. I wasn't a kid. I had been on first dates before. It wasn't going to be anything special, but dinner at a local favorite of mine. Small plates, fancy cocktails with silly names. It's a lot of fun. She was still unfamiliar with the area and she had never been. I told her I would need to correct that as soon as possible! And it was still totally casual! So why was I nervous? Why did I change my shirt three times? Why did I scroll through all of our messages, studying up so that I remembered all of the scant details I had gleaned about who Kaz'na was? Maybe it was just because she was a goblin. Maybe that alone made the experience new enough that it put me on edge. I don't know. Whatever it was, I found myself in the entrance of the restaurant.
It was ten minutes before we were supposed to meet but she had already texted me 5 minutes earlier to let me know she had grabbed a booth. I made the decision to walk from my condo to help burn off some of my excess nervous energy but I broke into something resembling a half-jog when I got that text.
I took a moment to catch my breath before scanning the restaurant for Kaz'na. It didn't take long to find her. That bright green skin stood out among the otherwise human crowd. There she was. Her eyes caught mine and her face lit up. She gave a little wave to beckon me over. I returned the smile and did my best to maintain a steady pace as I walked over to her.
"Hey, Kaz'na, I hope I didn't keep you waiting!" Cliche line, but it was my honest sentiment.
"Don't worry about it, Jesse! I always turn up places early. And it's actually pronounced "Kahz-nuh"." Oh man, that was something I had completely overlooked. You should have known how to pronounce her dang name! Idiot! I punched myself, mentally.
"Oh! I'm so sorry!" I could feel myself blushing.
"Don't worry about it! I know it's not a common name around here," she laughed it off. Her voice was bright, with just a hint of that signature rasp that was common to goblins.
As I sat down across from her and got to see her up close, I lost my breath all over again. She looked fantastic. Her dark hair was teased in a wave and held by a black band. She wore dark smokey eyeshadow and lipstick and her long pointed ears were adorned with two silver studs near each tip. And that was just her face. My eye was next drawn to the ample green cleavage revealed by the form fitting deep purple cocktail dress she was wearing. I had some idea of her figure from the full body pic on her profile, but seeing her in the flesh was something else entirely. Her bust would have been perfectly fitting on a human woman two feet taller than her. On her small frame, though, they were the stuff of my teenage fantasies. That was all I could see over the table, but I'm sure the rest would have been just as mesmerizing. I thought I was taking a surreptitious glance, but it must have been something closer to a drooling stare. She caught me.
Kaz'na brought her arms in, slyly pressing her breasts together. "I know, I might have gone a little overboard. But I've been busy with work and this was my first time out in a while so I really wanted to take advantage of the excuse to dress up. And then I mentioned to my sister that I was going out and she insisted on doing my hair...It's too much, isn't it?" She ducked her head, shyly.
"No! It's not too much at all. You look...great. Really!" So smooth, as always.
"Aw, thank you. I'll let my sister know that all her fussing wasn't wasted!"
"Want anything to drink?" I knew I did.
"Way ahead of you!" With perfect timing, a waitress placed a thin tall glass of something blue and fizzy into Kaz'na's outstretched hand.
"...And I told him, "No, I know how tall I am but I'm pretty sure I'm not a child! And he made me pull out my ID and everything. But like, look at this!" She gestured to her perfectly full figured body. "Like, imagine seeing this and thinking "Hmm...I think she needs a foot or two to be allowed into a club!" I was about to climb up there and slap some sense into him!" She smacked the table for emphasis and I couldn't resist laughing if I wanted to!
"Oh my god! I can just imagine you doing it, too!"
We were a few drinks in and from what I could tell in my inebriated state, it was going great! Over some delicious pork dumplings and street corn fritters, Kaz'na told me about how she moved her from Gohlmia, the goblin homeland, when she was 6 years old and so she had only faint memories of it. Her family had moved into the city a few months back so her brother and sister could be closer to their school of choice. The town she had been living in was much more rural so it was taking some getting used to but so far she was enjoying the energy of the city.
"I know, I must sound like such a hick. But I still can't get over how on any given day there'll be like an art fair or a concert or something totally unexpected! I love it! And I meet someone new every day. I've never seen so many different species. We were just about the only goblin family back home so it's nice not always having to look up when I'm talking to someone. Not to mention that there are actually clothing stores that cater to the short but stacked gal."
Her enthusiasm was infectious. I had lived here for a few years and had become pretty jaded to the experience. Where I saw the constant inconvenience of noise and xfaap.com traffic, she saw endless opportunity.
"Haha, well I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. Yeah, it was hard for me to get used to it when I first got here, too. But coming from a town so small that everyone knows everyone else it felt kind of...freeing to be somewhere where I could be anonymous. And if I had never moved here I would have never met you." I placed my hand on hers. My hand dwarfed hers. She was so soft and warm.
"Aww, that's sweet but you don't even know me." She ran her thumb along mine.
"Maybe not yet, but I know I'd like to."
"Is that so?" She leaned across the table and her eyes narrowed flirtatiously. "How about we head somewhere a little more quiet and get to know each other better then?"
"Sounds good. Have any place in mind?"
"Actually, I do! You introduced me to one of your favorite spots so I was
thinking I could return the favor. It's a little goblin owned dive bar a few blocks over. I love it!" She squeezed my hand and I felt like I already loved it too.
"Oh cool, yeah I'm down to check it out." I signalled our waitress for the check.
After the obligatory back and forth, I insisted that I cover the tab and Kaz'na accepted on the condition that she would pay for the drinks at the next place.
"Ready to go?" Kaz'na asked.
"Lead the way!"
As Kaz'na slid her way out of the booth and hopped down to her feet I noticed the full magnitude of our height disparity for the first time. Her head came to just above my belt line. Something didn't add up. I looked at the place where she was sitting and saw a discreet cushion that must have been responsible for allowing her to sit comfortably at eye level with me. She followed my gaze and immediately flushed with embarrassment.
"Heh, you caught me. I like to show up early to places so I can ask for a...booster seat," she mumbled to the floor.
"Oh, don't worry about it," I brushed it off. "I usually show up early to places because I'll figure I'll get lost on the way."
She laughed. "As long as it's not a shock to you that I'm only half your size!" She shoved me playfully as we walked to the door.
"You know, I suspected something but I thought it might be rude to mention it!" I took her hand and we left the restaurant.
On the walk to the bar, I could barely think of anything beyond how good her hand felt in mine. I pointed out other locations of interest that Kaz'na should check out but my only concern was how natural it felt to be walking and talking with her. After a few minutes we arrived at our destination, a red brick building with recessed windows emblazoned with a sign reading "The Gulch".
"Here it is! Fun fact, it's named after the owner, Gul'chah. He wanted it to be "Gul'chah's" but after folks kept mishearing the name he decided to just roll with it. So you're not the only one that isn't an expert on goblin names," she teased, nudging me with her hip.
"Thanks for reminding me, I almost forgot that embarrassing thing that happened an hour ago." I nudged her back.
She led me into the aged establishment and I spent a moment taking it in. It was run down, but in a comforting way. It reminded me of the friends' basements in which I had wasted much of my high school years. It was about half full, with a crowd mostly consisting of mostly demi-humans, many of the smaller varieties. Save for an orc couple in the corner, I was among the tallest people there.
We took a couple of seats at the far edge of the bar and were promptly greeted by a bubbly goblin bartender. Her hair was dyed a vibrant blue and pulled back into a pair of long braids. She had a pair of snakebite piercings in her lower lip and a series of rings in each ear. She wore a low slung sleeveless t-shirt that showed off a generous view of her cleavage which must bring in an equally generous boost to her tips. She recognized Kaz'na and introduced herself as Murn'kul, but she went by Murnie. She gave me a quick look up and down and her expression seemed to signify that she approved. I couldn't help but return the favor and give her a quick scan to confirm that if I wasn't already with a beautiful date I could see myself spending some time chatting her up.
Kaz'na took the initiative and ordered us two house whiskies. It was my turn to be inconvenienced by the seating arrangements as the stools at the bar were at least a foot higher than I would find comfortable, leaving me to hunch over the bar like a gargoyle. Kaz'na watched me suffer in silence for a moment before she could no longer hold back her laughter.
"If you're having some trouble with the seat, there's a lever on the side that can lower it, big guy! Like a salon chair." She helpfully explained in between giggling. A brief bit of fumbling with a creaky lever later, I was now at an appropriate height to resume casually leaning on the bar counter and looking my beautiful date in the eye.
"In my defense, I've never seen something like that at a bar!" I said in my best attempt to play it off.
"Consider it an example of goblin ingenuity!" She punctuated her boast with a sip of her drink. I followed suit and had to resist the urge to recoil. I was unfamiliar with goblin liquor but it seemed like especially powerful stuff.
"Hooo yeah," Kaz'na exhaled. "That's what I needed."
"Oh yeah." I suppressed a cough. "That's good stuff."
"So...about getting to know each other better. Why did you ask me out?" She shifted towards me, focusing on me with her full attention.
"Why? What do you mean?"
"I mean...you didn't have to ask me out but you did. What made you do that? What did you want to get out of it?" Her tone was casual, but I couldn't help but feel like I was being interrogated.
"Oh...," I thought for a moment. I didn't know that I could verbalize what motivated me to meet up with her. "Well, I thought you were cute and I liked talking with you and I wanted to see you and talk to you in person." It wasn't smooth, but it was the truth.
"Aww, you are so sweet. But I feel like there has to be something else. Have you ever dated a goblin before?" She placed her hand on my knee.
"Really, cause I saw how you looked at Murnie just now and I figured you must have a type," she said, in a mock-accusatory voice.
"What? Oh, yeah I mean she's pretty I guess but-"
"I'm kidding!" She mercifully cut off the apology I was stumbling over. "I know you're here with me. I just wanted to make sure you weren't one of those guys with "green fever"."
"Yeah, you know. The type that will chase after any goblin or orc just because they're "exotic" or whatever." Her voice was dripping with disgust and she took another swig of her drink.
"Are there actually guys like that?"
"Oh yeah! Like you wouldn't believe. And they have the nerve to act like it should be a compliment! Like, "your skin color gives me a boner, now touch it please!" Ugh!." It was clear by the volume of her voice that the alcohol was really starting to hit her.
"Hahaha, well I assure you I am not one of those guys. There are plenty of other parts of you that give me a boner!" It was clear by how easily such a crass joke escaped my lips that the alcohol was also starting to hit me.
"Haha! What!? You're so funny!" Kaz'na rocked in her seat from the force of her laughter.
"Ha! Yeah, it was just a joke! A real funny joke from me, the funny joke man!" A flawlessly executed escape.
"Really? Because I don't think it was "just" a joke. I'm pretty sure I do turn you on." Her voice lowered, becoming sultry and only a touch slurred. She slowly ran her fingers along my thigh. "I don't think you wouldn't have asked me out if I didn't. You said I was cute but I think you meant sexy."
"Maybe you're right." I placed my hand on her hip. "You're really good at reading people. But I think you owe me some answers. Why did you say yes when I asked you out? What were you looking for?" I don't know if the confidence I was feeling was natural or due to the goblin whiskey coursing through my veins but I was going to ride it while it lasted.
"Ha, oh look at you turning it around me on me! Well let's see..." Kaz'na put her finger on her chin in an exaggerated thinking pose. "I thought you had nice hair and a cute face and you said things that made me laugh. Oh and there was one other thing, but it's a secret!" She moved her "thinking" finger to her mouth in a shushing gesture.
"A secret? Are you sure you can't tell me? I promise I won't tell!" I played along with her game, genuinely curious about what secret reason she could have for going on a date.
"Well if you promise..." She waved me toward her and I leaned in. Kaz'na cupped her hand around my ear and whispered, "I really wanted your cock."
Her words sent a jolt of electricity through me. I was already at half mast from the feeling of her hand on my thigh but those words got my dick's full attention.
"But it's our little secret, right?" Kaz'na sat back on her stool and swirled the ice around in her glass.
"I--Uh--I," I had never been given such a forward signal that a girl was good to go. My brain was having difficulty processing this information. I imagine this is what having a stroke must feel like.
"Are you trying to say that you're ready to leave? And that we could head back to your place, you know, if I wanted to or whatever?" Kaz'na supplied, with a noncommittal shrug.
"Uhh...Yeah, that!" I sputtered.
"Then in that case, I'd love to. Oh wait, bottom's up!" She drained the rest of her glass with a flourish and I followed suit. With a practiced motion, she pulled her wallet from her purse and left a few bills, more than enough to cover our drinks and a generous tip and hopped off her stool. I followed after her, trying my best to not step on her heels like an overeager puppy.
Murnie waved after us.
"Byeee! Have fun you twooo~!" The lilt in her voice made it obvious she knew our plans for the rest of the night.
We were only a few minutes walk from my condo. Kaz'na was walking so close to me that I could feel her breasts pressed against my hip. There wasn't much talking this time. I think we were both caught up in the tension of the moment. This morning I wasn't sure what this night would bring. And now I was about to ravage her tiny green body. I put my hand on her shoulder to keep her close.
We had made it to the corner across from my building when we were stopped at a crosswalk. Kaz'na took the opportunity to nuzzle into me, which only highlighted how her face was at exactly my crotch level. She looked up at me and I could tell her desires mirrored mine. We were so close to the privacy of my place but I couldn't control myself. I dropped to one knee, tilted her chin up with my hand and kissed her. I was tentative at first. I knew she wanted me but I didn't know how she felt about public displays of affection. Her stance became clear when she returned the kiss without hesitation. Her lips were so soft. I needed more. I slipped her some tongue and I felt hers dance across mine. She ran a hand along the messy stubble that I called a beard. I don't know how long I would have stayed on that street corner making out with her if she hadn't pulled away from me.
"Umm..." she took a second to catch her breath. "I think we can cross now." She turned my head in the direction of the crossing light, which was already ticking down from 10 seconds.